The Stages of Sickness

by The Commish on Friday, December 16, 2011

Hello kiddies!

The Commish had his first bout of sickness this winter season this week and let me tell you – it was a ton of fun.  The great thing about being sick when you are an adult is... um well not much really, except the thought of getting better. 

Stage one: Realizing, crap – I’m getting sick

This happened sometime on Sunday night during the football game.  I had some buddies over, my wife had gone to bed and I was looking after our newborn – basically trying to make sure she didn’t cry or look directly into the television.  I started to get tired.  I passed the kid over to Bunzi who gave her a swing and I quickly started to fade.  Once Dallas had gone up by 2 scores late, we decided to call it a night (I know genius) and I brought Panda up to sleep with her mom.  I quickly passed out on the couch and woke up shivering.  Then I went to bed and couldn’t get warm even after putting on a hat, sweater, and socks (does anyone like socks in bed?).  I then left it to a greater power.  It’s basically your body deciding over the course of the night whether you are going to fight this thing off or lie down and except the virus. 

We should probably start here with Sherlock Holmes 2.  While I enjoyed the first one, I didn’t love it.  I thought it get less charming as it went along, but there has to be something said about the charisma of its two leads.  Robert Downey Jr. and Jude Law have proved that they are an excellent pair and compliment each other perfectly on screen and RDJ has said that he would be quite happy only doing Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes movies here on out.  Whether it’s good or not, will it make money?  I expect it to open to $50 million and have decent returns over the holidays.  I don’t expect it to be quite as popular as the original, but expect it to flirt with $200 million, while falling just a tad bit short.

Stage two: Flat on my back – with added trips to the bowl

When I woke up, I made an attempt to make it into the office.  I sat at my desk and pushed paper around for about 45 minutes, then decided the best place for me was home.

The only fun thing about stage two of being sick is the stuff you forget.  I don’t remember sleeping from 10am until 3pm and then I also don’t remember sleeping from 8pm until 11am on Tuesday.  But I remember the trips to the bathroom.  Those sucked.  That’s the way I view these Alvin movies.  I never want to experience Alvin 3.  The first Alvin made approximately $218 million, the second I think a couple of million less.  I originally thought that the new one would make relatively the same, but for the love of everything Tebow, can we just make this go away.  Hand up if you loved Almost Famous.  Now try watching it again knowing that the lead singer of Stillwater is in these effin movies.  It nearly kills them for me.  I still think it will make money, but for some reason, I’m not thinking it is guaranteed for the $200 million plateau.  I think it’s actually going to disappoint and come in the $150-180 million range.  Of course that could be just wishful thinking.

Stage three: The light at the end of the tunnel  

Tuesday I woke up and thought, heck I don’t feel that bad.  I don’t feel like eating anything and I don’t feel like doing anything, but I also don’t feeling like sprinting to the bathroom either.  I was optimistic about the road ahead and actually encouraged by what the rest of the day brings.  Don’t get me wrong, I stayed at home and faked sick around my wife so I could play video games and watch a movie, but I didn’t feel half bad.  Compared to the previous day, I felt like I could take on the world.  Kinda like Ethan Hunt must feel every day.

For the record I love, well, really like the Mission Impossible movies.  The first one has the crazy helicopter scene in the Chunnel, the second one is all John Woo all the time, and the third one is just gritty and PSH is just so great.  They are a lot of fun.  I got in the car today and the usual conservative and kinda anal movie reviewer was going off how much fun she had watching Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol.  Which she prefaced every sentence with “Now I don’t like Tom Cruise, but...”  Frankly, this is what we need right now.  I thought it was a mistake not sending this thing out back at Thanksgiving, but now that it’s here, it’s only increased my excitement.  If Ghost Protocol is the ride everyone says it is, think Fast Five numbers.  If it isn’t well, at total in the $145 range seems about right.

Remember everyone, over the next couple of months there are going to be some pretty excellent viri (viruses) floating around.  Practice good hand and oral hygiene, cough into your sleeve and when you do get sick, don’t bring it into the office or the theatre, stay at home and watch a movie.