September Preview

by The Commish on Friday, August 30, 2013

September has historically been my least favorite month of the year.  Well that’s not entirely true because November weather is just so crap, but at least it’s got football and great movies.  Sure September has football, but it also marks the end of the summer and the start of school.  I have always said there are two types of people in this world: people who looked forward to the first day of school and people who dreaded the first day of school.  Guess what side of the fence The Commish is on?  But when it comes to movie box office, there is only one type of person – can we please get through September, because it’s a wasteland when it comes to box office? 

In fact only four times in the last 10 years have we seen September movies make more than $100 million.  Flickamo predictions for this September say that we’ll add another to that group.  But if you own any of these other turkeys – good luck.

Here’s our list for top movies in September.

1. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs 2 (September 27) - $124 million.  The first one came out before kid’s movies became a daily event in The Commish household and we’ve actually avoided the original.  That being said, I hope I’m able to follow the story when I bring the Grizz to see the sequel.  Look for a run at the record for opening September weekends and a final tally around $125 million.

2. Insidious Chapter 2 (September 13) - $60 million.  The first one came out and was a great sleeper pick a couple of years ago.  You probably paid a little more for this one to be on your roster and as long as you didn’t pay too much, it was probably a decent buy.  Expect a nice return for the investment.

3. Riddick (September 6) - $56 million.  Flickamo wasn’t around in 2002, but if it was all Vin Diesel’s movies would’ve been must owns.  But I’d stay away from everything that doesn’t have a Fast followed by a number in the title.  I don’t think this movie is going to change anyone’s draft standings - $50 million total.

4. Prisoners (September 20) - $50 million.  This isn’t a song and dance movie, what are you doing Hugh Jackman?  Movies involving the abduction of children are a pass for me.  But revenge movies are a must for me.  I’m so conflicted I’m going with the boring number of $50 million.

5. Rush (September 27) - $41 million.  How crappy is September going to be that a movie about 1970s formula 1 racing is going to be the fifth biggest movie of the month.  I know I should be excited about Ron Howard’s latest, but this is America and we like our racing cars to turn left only!

6. The Family (September 13) - $33 million.  Really?  Robert De Niro as a mob boss in the witness protection program in the South of France?  Gosh September is looking like a great month for movies.

7. Baggage Claim (September 20) - $28 million.  It’s like the movie studios don’t want to make any money in September.

8. Don Jon (September 20) - $26 million.  I like my god.  I like my car.  I like my friends.  I like my girl.  And I like my porn.  Now this movie is something I’m really interested in seeing.  Unfortunately I don’t think many will feel the same way.  Hope for $25 million and be happy with anything over that.

9. Battle of the Year (September 13) - $15 million. I thought everyone agreed that we’d have no more dance movies. 

10.  Metallica: Through the Never (September 27) - $6 million.  Do you know how hard it was to make a top ten list box office list for September 2013?