2017 Busts

by The Commish on Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The box office year is a long and crazy one.  Some good movies don’t make money, some bad movies turn into “must see” events.  But in January all movies look like winners.  Here are the movies from 2017 that initially looked like winners, but underperformed in a major way and we are classifying them as the busts of ‘17.

10. The Last Jedi – it’s a bit of a copout to put the biggest movie of the year as a bust, especially for snake drafts as it probably did win your league for you.  But if you took part in an auction draft, Jedi cost you the majority of your budget and unless you were really lucky with your $1 movies, you probably didn’t have enough winners to make the podium after Star Wars made less than $700 million.

9. The Dark Tower – there were two Stephen King movies released a month from each other this year.  Both were beloved novels which fans were waiting decades for.  One made $325 million, the other was The Dark Tower.  We had high hopes for both in January, unfortunately, TDT was panned and barely made $50 million.

8. Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets – this should be a reminder for all of us not to draft movies with the tagline – from the visionary director of…

7. The Star – an animated movie about the birth of Jesus from an animal’s point of view with the vocal talents of Oprah, how could this fail?  But it did and for those of us that drafted it with visions of sugarplum box office dollars dancing in our heads were left with a donkey turd and only $41 million.

6. XXX 3 – for the record we are no longer drafting Vin Diesel movies that don’t include the words fast or furious.

5. King Arthur – big budget, Zeppelin soundtrack, unfortunately it also had a nobody lead actor and nobody cared.  Boo King Arthur boo!

4. Justice League – We anticipated a top 3 movie for the year.  Our hopes got even higher after the success of Wonder Woman.  Unfortunately, in today’s internet age the troubles were well documented and negative reviews quickly spread.  As a result, it didn’t end the year in the top 10.

3. Ghost in the Shell, Rock That Body (tie) – originally pegged as $100 million movies, they failed to generate that combined.  Something happened to ScaJo, all of a sudden if she doesn’t have her Marvel buddies, she’s box office kryptonite.

2. Life – where to begin?  Firstly, it was coming out within weeks of another Alien movie. B, it killed off its biggest star in the first third. And finally, it was awful.  So much talent, so much promise, what a wasted opportunity.

1. The Delayed FiveRed Sparrow, WWZ 2, Bad Dads, 6 Billion Dollar Man, Disney Live Action; all were drafted with high hopes of rekindling box office glory of years gone by and all failed to even get released.  At least we now know that Red Sparrow (March) and DLA, now Christopher Robin (August) have release dates; the others are still looking for directors, actors and scripts.  There can be great finds on the cheap, but make sure you have a contingency plan, because they often get delayed.